It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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