you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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