i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
