So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize