Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
