remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
