R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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