So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
