so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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