i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
