C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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