I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize