i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
