You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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