You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
