Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
