My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize