We got so high we made milksteak
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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