It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
