it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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