Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
