just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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