Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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