dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
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I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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