Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
