ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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