have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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