i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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