Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize