Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
