I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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