dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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