My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
