I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
