Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
