if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
