I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
