I hope mine doesn't look like that
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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