glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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