White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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