two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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