Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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