I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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