She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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