Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
