so explain again why im purple
no
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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