i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize