doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize