You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
