the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize