i already hear my dad disowning me
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize