I'm going to jail i love you
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
