Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
