I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
