rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize